About Front Desk: I can't believe I have to post this, but I see no other way to get Dr. Guttenberg's staff to respond to a simple request. Do you agree with me that his customer service is abysmal? In 2004 I spent nearly $40,000 with this practice for six implants in my upper mouth. Subsequently a horseshoe shaped appliance was screwed to the roof of my mouth to hold the new teeth. In the past few months the screws started to come loose and need to be replaced. Since I have since moved across the country, my current dentist asked me to contact Dr. Guttenberg's office to get the brand name of said appliance. Apparently there are many manufacturers and if you don't know the name you can't get the correct screws. The first screw fell out 29 days ago. FOUR WEEKS AGO TODAY I called Dr. Guttenberg's office, and explained my dilemma to his assistant, Dawn. "I'm sorry," she said regretfully, "but records over ten years old are stored on paper not in our data base." "I'm sorry, too," I said, "but the appliance on the roof of my mouth will fall out unless you give me the name of the manufacturer, so my current dentist can order the correct screws." She promised to do so "soon." She didn't. During the next week another screw fell out. And a few days later still another. TWO WEEKS AGO TODAY my dentist called Dr. Guttenberg's office to attempt to get the same information. Dawn told him she would call back promptly. Since I was going on vacation, he tried screwing a couple of the old screws back in, but he warned me that they were stripped and might not hold. "Don't worry too much," he said. "By the time you get back from your trip, I'll have the correct screws. I can get them in one day as soon as Dawn in Dr. Guttenberg's office calls back." She never did. Last Saturday the entire appliance fell out of the roof of my mouth. I could not eat. I could not appear in public. I could not function normally. I was comforted by the fact, however, that my current dentist would have the correct screws for my 11:30 a.m. appointment today. Except he didn't. Dawn never called him back. THREE HOURS AGO I called Dr. Guttenberg's office and explained my dilemma. This is an emergency, I pleaded. "Oh, you talked to Dawn," said the gentleman who answered. "She's in with Dr. Guttenberg now. I'll have her call you as soon as she comes out." You know what's coming next: Dawn didn't call. PLEASE Dr. Guttenberg, I beg you to call me with this information. All I need is the name of the manufacturer. My life cannot go on normally until you do. I can't even leave my house. PLEASE. If you happen to live in the DC area, would you mind stopping in at 2021 K Street NW and ask Dr. Guttenberg to call me? It's probably best if you speak to someone other than Dawn. If it works, I'll send you a big box of candy. Update #1 August 18 5:30 a.m. PDT: Called the practice and got a brand new explanation: Apparently the office keeps no paper records after seven years. They "may" have the records on some "random" floppy disks which they claim to be searching. But if my dentist sends my X-rays to them they may be able to identify the manufacturer from them. I won't hold my breath. They also claim (rather dismissively) to have called me back twice yesterday but "a woman hung up" on them. Turns out they were using a landline number I haven't had for years. If they'd asked for the best number to reach me when I called yesterday, that wouldn't have happened. In the meantime I just cancelled a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. Can't go out in public like this! Update #2 August 18 5:54 p.m. PDT My four-week runaround with Dr. Guttenberg's unhelpful staff is finally over. I finally got the information - in six hours (!) - from the office of my other dentist in Washington DC. Thanks very much to Laura at the Washington Center for Dentistry who quickly discovered the records Dawn claimed she couldn't find. Instead of treating my call as an annoyance, she understood my dilemma and actually HELPED me. What a concept.

Front desk:

I know this doctor: One year